The burden of one

Each of us has a burden to carry.

A thing to be rid of.

A brokenness to rend and mend.

And we were never meant to carry it alone.

To be sure, the burden we carry can only fit into one set of arms. But we were never meant to walk with full arms without someone to walk alongside us.

Problem is, our armloads flow over our elbows, which all-too-often jab and push away fellow travelers, leaving us alone and afraid. 

Ironically, the same fear of traveling alone can cause us to resist friendship. The burdens which overflow our hearts make it near-impossible for some of us to accept love from someone else. We’re just too full of pain to accept anything more from the world, even the blessing of someone who cares.

And yet, God designed us to need–even require–the company of another. He knew from the Beginning it is not good for man (or woman) to be alone. So it makes sense that evil finds ways to isolate us and cause us to resist fellowship with one another.

With the holidays upon us, loneliness hidden and silent morphs into pain, prickly and loud.

In the Old Testament, Israelites had many different offerings they’d present to God. One, in particular, was called the fellowship offering. It was the one offering where the animal which was sacrificed was then served at a meal for everyone to share and enjoy. Some scholars say it was a symbol of inward peace associated with a restored relationship.

This reminds me of a service at church a few weeks ago. I attend a pretty large church, where it’s easy to lose myself in the crowd and not really, deeply interact with anyone–a temptation easy for me to sink into, because friendship often scares me. Yet this service was centered around Communion. It wasn’t the typical Communion service, where the plates of bread and drink are passed along, no one looking at each other, no one talking. This time, giant round tables were placed in the front of the church, and row-by-row, congregants filed down and encircled the tables, held hands and spoke encouraging words to each other

Then they took Communion.

I sat near the back of the church and watched and waited for my turn. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I watched others connect.

I wanted fellowship.

But it terrified me, too.

Divine chance led me to a table with a young couple who were part of our first small group, and another couple I knew were terrific prayer warriors. The row of congregants facing our table were filled with some of my favorite friends from choir, and their voices seeped into my grateful soul. In a few rows behind them sat friends who’d lost spouses and friends in pain and friends who know about my pain and crud, but friends who choose to embrace me anyway.

I held hands with my husband and one of the prayer warriors. I ate the broken bread. I drank in the symbol of blood shed for me.

And I knew the burden of allowing just one person near my heart is worth it.

Fellowship.

A sacrifice.

But so, so worth it.

“We saw it, we heard it, and now we’re telling you so you can experience it along with us, this experience of communion with the Father and his Son, Jesus Christ. Our motive for writing is simply this: We want you to enjoy this, too. Your joy will double our joy!” I John 1:3 (TMV)

(This post was written today as part of the One Word at a Time blog carnival on Fellowship.)

23 thoughts on “The burden of one

  1. Wow, this is so true and so describes me. I am the one who will usually hang out in the back but be so upset that I have no one to fellowship with. It just takes that one step, but it’s the hardest step to take. Thanks for sharing.

  2. How beautiful your communion service was that you describe so eloquently. As I shared with my husband some of the various fellowship posts, he reminded me of the scripture that says, in Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. I have a problem at first with a church new to me, but have learned to smile, act like it is MY church and greet those around me. Takes awhile for some to warm up, but at least now I do feel accepted, and the fellowship is coming also.

  3. God created us to need each other because he created us in his image and even though he’s God, and has everything, what he desires most is the one thing that we continually deny Him — us. Our attention. Our devotion. Our communion.

    1. Attention is a good one, too. Might have to write about that, especially in our totally ADD society. No attention, no communion, no devotion. Thanks, Karen!

  4. You have such an eloquent way of reminding us how important fellowship is for us, Amy. Thank you for writing about this topic. I struggle with being able to connect with others at church, but also in other facets of my life. Fellowship is very difficult for me and I’m not sure why. I’m hoping to figure it out one of these days.

  5. Absolutely beautiful and hit straight to the core of my heart. You articulated the tug of war in my heart exactly! May the Lord continue to draw you close to Him…it’s clear these words come from a deep well of conversation with Him! Blessings, Sam

  6. Oh, Amy! This is so touching, so beautiful! What an awesome way to share communion. I so wish I lived near you. I would be at your house with a cup of tea, some snickerdoodles, a shoulder to cry on, ears to listen, eyes to cry with you, and arms to hug you. You will always have my friendship! Blessings to you, sweet one!

  7. I’m so glad you were blessed with such a joyous fellowship-oriented communion. My husband and I are HUGE communion fans and would love to have it every service and not just pass the bits and pieces, but always hold hands and pray together before we eat and drink … and do it with others, too. Unfortunately, most churches don’t operate that way, but we still are filled with joy when it comes around.

  8. This is beautiful and raw and sweet and so, so, so true for so many. In our church we have communion at a step and are encouraged to go up as family and friends…I love it. When my husband wasn’t with me, my friend pulled me in with her family…I wasn’t going to ask, but asked that someone would initiate and it meant everything…it is such a picture and so beautiful to know the embrace of those around…

    Oh Lord, that our churches would be filled of more of this…

    Thank you again…visiting from Bridget’s “Blessed Be the Feet That are Tied”…took a different tack…but same heart…Be Blessed Today!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s