“I’m an adoptive mom.” Guest post and thoughts on Before I Saw You.

Today I’m thrilled to welcome Katie Powner to my blog! She is an adoptive mama and author, and she’s here today to kindly share her thoughts and perspective–as Michelle Thorne did from a birth mama’s perspective–on Before I Saw You.

Welcome, Katie!

Before I Saw You is written from the perspective of a young woman who considers placing her baby for adoption, who wrestles with the agonizing idea of setting her child in the arms of another woman. And I—well, I’ve been on the other side. The woman on the other end of the adoption process who has waited with anticipation for someone else’s baby to be placed in her arms.

I’m an adoptive mom.

Raising a child who was not born to you is not much different than raising a child who was, except that the child’s birthmom is always there, staring back at you. I see my daughter’s birthmom in my daughter’s dimples. In the curl of her hair. I hear her in my daughter’s voice. I thought of her as I read this book.

In Before I Saw You, young Jaycee is faced with making a decision no mother should ever have to make, but my daughter’s birthmom faced that harrowing decision in real life. Like Jaycee, she struggled to decide what would be best for her child. She knew she couldn’t guarantee a good life for her baby no matter what she chose, but what would give her baby the best chance?

I don’t wonder if my daughter’s birthmom thinks of my daughter, because I know she does. But I do wonder where she is and what she’s doing. I wonder what went through her mind the last time she saw her daughter…my daughter…our daughter. And as I read Before I Saw You and cried more than a couple tears, one thing kept running through my mind. The one thing I wish I could tell her.

And it’s this: I don’t know—will never know—whether I’ve made our daughter’s life “better,” but I’ve given her a good life. She is loved and she is happy and her life is good. What I do know, without any doubt, is that she’s made my life better.

About Katie:

Katie Powner lives in rural Montana and blogs about adoption and foster care issues, as well as family life, at Katie Gets It Write (link to http://www.katiepowner.blogspot.com). She dreams of being a published author someday and heartily recommends any words that Amy K. Sorrells writes ever. Learn more at katiepowner.com.

10 thoughts on ““I’m an adoptive mom.” Guest post and thoughts on Before I Saw You.

  1. Katie, I’m an adoptive mom as well, times two. You nailed it! My son and daughter are grown now, and they’ve both blessed my life too many ways to count. They tell me the same, so I hope I’ve been the mother their mothers hoped I would be. I do think my husband has been a great dad, and that was something they really wanted for their babies. That’s so important, too.

  2. I can’t even begin to imagine giving up a child but I know that there are some trying circumstances that bring this about. I admire the birth mother in her gut wrenching decision. I also admire the adoptive mothers who find it in their hearts to love this child with a depth probably no one could fully comprehend. Adoption is truly an amazing gift.

  3. I am a birthmom. 40 years ago my daughter was placed for adoption. It wasn’t my first choice but as an immature teen I was guided towards this choice of adoption. No one told me the grief I would deal with. Or the guilt. I married less than three years later without dealing with any of it. I told my future husband but we never dealt with it as a couple either. But God has shown us once again His mercy and grace and overwhelming love. My daughter now 40 has found me-now 4 months ago. I am so blessed to know and love her. We have met her parents. I am so grateful that her Mom let her love me even though she did not know me. She paved the way for this amazing relationship we get to have now. But, wow, the grief is hitting me hard. And she is also experiencing loss and trying to balance her love for her parents and now for her birth parents (she also has a relationship with her father now) She says she has two new parents, two new bonus parents (our spouses) and 9 new siblings, 4 nephews and 2 nieces. The emotions are over the top, but so, so worth it. I’m so very blessed and thankful for her Mom who prayed for me and allowed her daughter to love me.

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