Today I’m thrilled to welcome Katie Powner to my blog! She is an adoptive mama and author, and she’s here today to kindly share her thoughts and perspective–as Michelle Thorne did from a birth mama’s perspective–on Before I Saw You.
Before I Saw You is written from the perspective of a young woman who considers placing her baby for adoption, who wrestles with the agonizing idea of setting her child in the arms of another woman. And I—well, I’ve been on the other side. The woman on the other end of the adoption process who has waited with anticipation for someone else’s baby to be placed in her arms.
I’m an adoptive mom.
Raising a child who was not born to you is not much different than raising a child who was, except that the child’s birthmom is always there, staring back at you. I see my daughter’s birthmom in my daughter’s dimples. In the curl of her hair. I hear her in my daughter’s voice. I thought of her as I read this book.
In Before I Saw You, young Jaycee is faced with making a decision no mother should ever have to make, but my daughter’s birthmom faced that harrowing decision in real life. Like Jaycee, she struggled to decide what would be best for her child. She knew she couldn’t guarantee a good life for her baby no matter what she chose, but what would give her baby the best chance?
I don’t wonder if my daughter’s birthmom thinks of my daughter, because I know she does. But I do wonder where she is and what she’s doing. I wonder what went through her mind the last time she saw her daughter…my daughter…our daughter. And as I read Before I Saw You and cried more than a couple tears, one thing kept running through my mind. The one thing I wish I could tell her.
And it’s this: I don’t know—will never know—whether I’ve made our daughter’s life “better,” but I’ve given her a good life. She is loved and she is happy and her life is good. What I do know, without any doubt, is that she’s made my life better.
Katie Powner lives in rural Montana and blogs about adoption and foster care issues, as well as family life, at Katie Gets It Write (link to http://www.katiepowner.blogspot.com). She dreams of being a published author someday and heartily recommends any words that Amy K. Sorrells writes ever. Learn more at katiepowner.com.