Quarantine journals: March 30

160,020 diagnosed

2,953 deaths

5,595 recovered

Back to work today, work I adore, work I feel—have always felt—privileged to do. I felt stretched again between the urgency of the pandemic and the real time ache of patients needing pain control, assurance, direction, and kindness. The hierarchy of needs.

Air.

Breathe.

Shelter.

Eat.

One foot in front of the other.

Me. Them. Us.

Outside the grass is green. Suddenly, as if the earth sensed the great ache of all of us, begging to see life and new and growing things in the midst of all this madness, the grass is emerald green.

Glorified and sanctified be God’s great name throughout the world
which He has created according to His will,

…says the Kaddish.

And I turn my face toward Him.

Long enough to keep believing.

For today.

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